remember to wear your TRIPLE ASS MASK to prevent the ANAL SPREAD OF COVID-LACED METHANE.


1) underwear
2) pants
3) bungee-corded jacket fully encasing BOTH BUTTOCKS (as well as any tilapia, penises, vaginas you may possess)

remember to shuffle with no foot advancing more than SIX INCHES ahead of the other at any time! in this way and only this way can we prevent gas gaps from opening up and thereby SECURE our national health.

@Alex_Linder Additionally, deliberate, violent gas attacks formerly thinly-veiled as "jokes" are henceforth forbidden.

Whether called "breaking wind", "cutting one", "burning a tire" or of course "farting", doing so in a closely-confined space occupied by 2 or more people shall be punished by large fines and/or imprisonment.

Terrorists convicted of perpetrating a "dutch oven" attack against a jewish victim will face an enhanced hate crime sentence, and be eligible for the death penalty.

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